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Going Commando – banned by health and safety

September 21, 2011

So, potty training going swimmingly, if by that you mean that our little universe is now obsessed with his buzz lightyear potty and will not do his business anywhere else.  For the past two days i’ve turned up at the nursery door, expecting to be greeted by my son in a different pair of trousers, only to be met by the same little boy i dropped off.  Excellent you may think, until the nursery staff inform you that he’s not been to the loo at all, and it’s a rush to get home to buzz before the (very large) call of nature arrives.  At least he’s wearing pants now (after a trip to mothercare to pick out some more thomas pants).  I was hauled before management on Tuesday and informed that he couldn’t go commando incase…well, i didn’t really understand what the problem was…issues around trousers being pulled down???  I do understand that it’s not kosher per se to have your kid wandering round pantless, but really, what harm can it do?  A lot apparently, and so we have amended our erroneous ways.  However, the chocolate bribery is starting to backfire on me i think as am not too sure how to escalate the prize to get him to go on the actual loo (Thomas seat included), will cross that bridge at the weekend perhaps.  And then he might be happy to go at nursery???  In the meantime however am fast running out of chocolates, and the stickers/chart is somewhat sidelined despite my best “oooh, stickers” each and every time buzz receives his delightful gifts.

Meanwhile, as little accidents occur (his willy doesn’t always seem to actually fit into the potty, so he maybe sitting on it, but the wee goes elsewhere) i am rueing my omission to buy dettol, this house is not getting any cleaner i tell you!  So, with the guilty aroma of piss saturating his playroom (my guilt not his), we set about making apple cake.  My friends Tom and Amy have a blog (this blogging thing is quite infectious) all about cooking with kids.  It’s great (http://hattieskitchen.posterous.com/).  Amy is one of those mum’s that seems to have everything under control, and on the rare occasions that i feel on top of 2 kids i think to myself that this is what she must feel all of the time.  Normally obviously i am wrestling one whilst trying to keep the other from tears (or at the moment from crapping on the carpet).  However, her blog is properly inspirational, mainly due to the fact that my repertoire of approx 4 meals, which used to be sufficient when no1 child was in nursery full-time now falls somewhat short of ‘balanced’ when i have to feed him everyday, does give me some ideas as to what else to cook.

In other news; we have a telephone connection and the gizmo to deliver broadband, though sadly, as yet, no actual broadband and so Solva continues to be our salvation.  Fingers crossed this is sorted soon, as am missing iplayer and still feel too guilty to actually download anything of any size on anyone else’s.  Maybe by xmas.  The first two months of our deal is free, however if by free they mean non-existent then i will be most displeased.  Am gearing up for an ‘i know my rights’ style conversation.  i don’t.  But then when’s that ever stopped me from having a good go…?!  The lady who delivered the broadband gizmo today got quite a shock i think, when i answered the door, 18 minutes into my Zhumba session, bright red and sporting a delightful neon green belt with what looks like a large glowing dildo on, sweating like the hideously unfit thing that i am.  I was most uncharming as she fannied around with her electronic signing thing, as i’ve no idea how to pause the zhumba, all i could think was ‘dear god woman, you’re ruining my chances of getting full marks’ (sadly untrue, i ruin my own chances of getting full marks, she was just delaying the inevitable).  Here’s hoping that tomorrow no-one else disturbs my inept, malcoordinated attempts to get fit.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Mary permalink
    September 21, 2011 8:53 pm

    Have you also considered that chocolate bribes (one for a pee, two for a poo) will create – or posibly even reinforce – male penile and anal obsession? What does Freud say? Blame it on the mother!

    From your own mother. Glad I didn’t have a boy…
    xxxxxM

    • September 22, 2011 9:44 am

      oh god! Like i need more guilt….ah well, parents – we’re here only to fuck the children up – to plagiarise badly…x

  2. Chris Cox permalink
    September 22, 2011 10:01 am

    At least you’ve not had to resort to the fine literature that is ‘Mr Poo goes to Poo Land’ which confused adults and children alike here!

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