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October 11, 2012

Do you ever feel like you’re living in some kind of comedy, personal hell?  Surrounded by idiots, drawn to repeating yourself ad infinitum, to no avail, and yet can’t stop from doing it again, and again.

This is my story.

Whilst in Spar last Friday, spuriously buying something ‘essential’ whilst obvs actually in there to purchase copious amounts of sweets and chocolate (impulse buys? not bloody likely), i came across a wonderful piece of POS, which annoyingly for myself i didn’t capture in it’s full beauty.  Essentially, a little chocolate bell for 25p, with a big sign saying ‘3 for a £1’.  I stared at this for a long time, mainly because the spar check-out girls are not renound for their speedy turnaround of customers, not quite believing it and wanting to say something to the other queuers.  I looked  behind me, to a man in his late 60’s, buying two large bottles of Strongbow.  Prejudicially, i assumed that he wouldn’t be in a fit state to get the irony, and so took my observation to the check-out.  “Are those Lindt Bells 25p” i innocently enquired.  “yes” the dour reply. “And 3 for a pound?”. “yes” the dour reply. “Really. Three.  For a pound?” “yes” she was now clearly getting annoyed with my inanity.  I persevered, “So, 25p each, and 3 for a pound?”.  “yes”. “3?  For a pound??!!!”. “yes”.  Meanwhile the drunk behind me had cottoned on, and was at least enjoying the exchange.  Unlike the girl on the till.  I tried again, making it as clear as i could “But, if they’re 25p, i can get 4 for a pound, surely?”.  At least, there was a dim flicker of brain activity, a momentary thought, extinguished almost immediately by “yes, well, that’s what head office have given us, so it’s up to them”.

I returned on Saturday, just to check (and to take a photo), and what had they done?  Only gone and taken down the sign that says that individually the Bell’s were 25p.  So, obvs, i bought one – just to check.  A different girl on check-out this time. “So, these bells are 25p?”. “yes”, “But, it says 3 for a pound?”. “yes”.  “But they’re 25p each right?”. “yes”.  No wry smile.  No recognition of what i was trying to say, just impatience.  I persevered.

And so today, for journalistic reasons, obviously, i bought another (to enable me to take the pictures and have the proof).  It starts again, you can imagine i’m sure already how the conversation goes. “Are these bells 25p?”.  But, to my surprise (and annoyance) the response was “no, they’re 40p”.  What?????  So, rather than change the POS, they’ve changed the bloody price?  Well, all i can say is at least i’ve managed to get 3 for 90p.  Bastards.  Not only have they almost doubled the price, but they’ve put an end to my fun.

And, i tell you what, they’re not worth 40p, even if you can get 3 for a pound.

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